almost 6 months

Almost 6 months have passed and I still grieve for maddy. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of her...the holes in my blankets..maddy...the pictures of her on the mantle...maddy...the screen on my phone...maddy. what an impact a little bunny can make. What I wouldn't give to kiss that fuzzy forehead again...or harass with treats until she bit me lol. Oh maddy...you made it so easy for me to love you..and so very hard to say goodbye.

I miss you every day Maddy...wish I would have caught that second abscess sooner. smudge is the cure for what ails me..and she's doing a good job at that.

Smudge

Everyone...I'd like to introduce Smudge. We adopted her from a rescue on 9.20.14 exactly 4 months after Maddy passed.

As much as I miss and still grieve for Maddy...I know she would want me to be happy. The two of them are completely opposite and if Maddy were still alive I could totally see her bullying Smudge hahaha. Maddy, I love and miss you dearly...

My Maddy

It has been exactly 1 month and 2 days since Maddy passed away. I would be lying if I said it has been easy on me...in fact it feels like an eternity.  There hasn't been one day where I haven't shed tears thinking about her..missing her..or thinking of what I could have done differently.

They say it gets easier with time...and that's the only thing I can do. Take things one day at a time. Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming I lie awake at night with tears flowing down my cheeks. You see, Maddy was my constant companion. When insomnia struck I would just make myself comfortable on the floor and we would just hang out until I fell asleep.

That's what I miss the most...her friendship and love. The night before her surgery we hung out all night on the couch and I told her how much I loved her and how strong she was. Love is a funny thing. It is the best feeling to have..but the most painful to lose someone you love so much.

The day after I lost her that's how I felt...lost. I asked God to give me a sign she was ok..and stepped outside for some air. There is was, a beautiful rainbow. Just to make sure it wasn't a mistake...there was another rainbow the next day too with no clouds in the sky.

I know she is where she belongs now...but I wish I had more time with her. Everything happened so fast. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye..I didn't know she was going to leave...I thought we were in the clear.

I'm blessed to have had another 8 wonderful months with her after her first surgery..I'm blessed to have had such a smart girl...I'm blessed that she made it to my wedding..

Wherever you are Maddy..I love you. I know you are healthy and happy and one day I hope to see you again. For now, I'm fine with seeing you in my dreams..

Maddy...

Maddy passed away from complications after her second abscess surgery this morning. She made it through the night but unfortunately collapsed and could not be revived. I'll always remember her...and I am grieving my child today. I wished that she would live long enough to one day meet my human children...until we meet again my love.

One of the last pictures together....


Signing out..
M

One week ago...

I got married!!!!

Here are some photos from our special day..

More to come soon!

Maddy is 3!!!

Apologies for neglecting this blog. Between wedding shower, bachelorette party, and obsessing over details of my approaching wedding, and work..I'm exhausted.

Happiest 3rd gotcha day to my little love Maddy. Little rabbit..big attitude! I'm so blessed to have her here to celebrate after she gave me quite the scare last year.

My wish for us is to spend so many more years together! Forever just doesn't seem enough...

pictures from our little celebration coming soon!

-M