waiting game...

Hello everyone. I'm at work so I have a bit of time to myself to update you all. There isn't really much of a change in Maddy's condition. She is peeing and it is quite clear, I attributed that to all the fluids I've been pushing. She even will drink from the teeniest syringe I have without me forcing her. I have mixed feelings about that..I'm happy she is willing to drink, but kinda sad that she is so thirsty and can't do anything about it without my help. I leave the crock out for her full of fresh water but she seems too weak to even get out of her litter box where she's been hanging out for the last day. She just can't seem to get comfortable..always fidgeting about. Through all of this she hasn't had any teeth grinding at all. The loss of weight and that bulge inside is just making her quite uncomfortable. One good thing I can say is, the poops look bigger and rounder...and the pee is flowing...

She is being kept warm in a quiet area of the house. I go bother her to give her the syringe feedings and some love. She's such a good girl, I know she wants to eat and drink on her own but she just feels so icky.  I miss my chubby girl. She weighed in on Friday at 3.09lbs bones and all. Brandi, I read your comment late last night so I wasn't able to get to the store. I will try your organic pumpkin suggestion today. I will try anything at this point...

Tomorrow is the big day and I have a confession to make. I am so scared.I the fear of the unknown!!! What if this, and what if that...and I KNOW i shouldn't get ahead of myself..but vets and human doctors alike give you the worst case scenario first.. and I feel guilty for even thinking WHAT IF? I try not think or talk about it so I won't give it any power..but ugh...this is my baby we are talking about. I am 27 years old, no human children..only my rabbit. I'd be lying if I said she's not all I'm thinking about every second I'm away from her..I'm trying not to cry as I type this because my patients would look at me weird lol. Is it selfish to think about myself? I'm a nurse as a living..and I can't even take care of my own child, and here I am taking care of people who just squander their lives away with drugs and alcohol. Sorry, it's just all rambling right now. I've probably had 3 hours of good sleep since Thursday. Excuse my psychotic behavior lol.

Maddy is NOT just a rabbit, she is my fuzzy daughter. She is the reason I laugh, the source of my tears (these days). I've always been an animal lover, I thought I was a dog person..until Maddy hopped into my heart. I owe the way I live my life to her..I stopped eating meat, I started a monthly donation to our local chapter of HRS. I have been OVERWHELMED with all the kindness we have been showed at this stressful time..I promise all of you that I have read every single word maybe 2, 9, even 5 million times over and over again. We definitely feel all the love and I know God hears us. This experience is all so humbling, and it is SO comforting that I don't have to go through it alone because of all of you. THANK YOU. THANK YOU for loving Maddy, thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, positive vibes, well wishes, but most of all..THANK YOU for just being you (yes you, reading this) for caring enough to care about a girl and her rabbit.  I hope you will all be blessed a thousand fold.

Monday, we're coming for you....

Megan

fighting!

i left for work this morning with a heavy heart..no pee or poop the whole day yesterday. the vet didnt open again till 8am. it was 8:01 when I called the first vet ad updated him on maddy's condition and my concern of the lack of waste products. he advised me to keep up with thr critical care feedings and that it was the mass pressing on everything that's making it hard for maddy to push out everything that needs to get out. the 2nd vet called at 8:51 and told me the same and that the critical care is being absorbed by her body because its so desperately clinging onto any nutrition it can get...just great. i was heartbroken..every bunny mama knows that no pee or poo is a bad sign...

So i came home from work with a heavy heart...

That's when Maddy surprised me. There were pee stains on the white napkins i left to line her litter box..and there was poop..miss shaped beautiful poops. i could have cried tears ofjoy and a million golden poops could have fallen from the sky hahaha. our girl is a fighter...and she wont go down without a fight. im sure she feels all the love and positive engery around her, so keep it coming....the vet says from the look of the xrays her gi system is clear but that mass is pushing it to the side putting pressure on every organ it touches..so its hard for her to push those doots out...but she did it. my maddy is a fighter and i will fight for her..and fight with her :)

♥megan

update

nothing but bad news..i wish i had something good to tell you all. maddy was running a fever of 104..the dr. took out some of the fluid inside using a small needle and exxamined it under a microscope. it turned out to be pus and bacteria. from there he gave her some subcutaneous fluids, and antibiotics. he gave me the worst case scenario, that if he does the surgery and nothing can be done then the best option would be to put her to sleep..of he opens her up and there is something he can do then he will do everuthing he can to fix it..we scheduled the surgery for the next available date which unfortunately isnt until monday. i hate having ti wait that long since i want whatever it is fixed...but on the other habd..its good that i get to spend some time with my girl in case the unthinkable happens..which is not an option for me at this moment. im looking at her right now and shes taking a few small sips of water if i kniw anything, i know my girl is a fighter and if she doesnt already know how much i love her then she will figure it out this weekend. im just so sorry i didnt notice anything sooner. please please please keep her in your thoughts and prayers..and maybe say a prayer for me too because im trying to be strong, but im not too good at hiding my emotions (crying like a waterfall in front of the vet lol) i love you all and without your support i dont know what id do. sorry for all the spelling erros, i cant see anything between my tears..

♥megan

not really an update..

I stayed up with Maddy giving her critical care and she fought me all the way. Our regular vet said that it wasn't a blockage..the GI system has slowed due to being "squashed" in the corner by whatever that big mass is. The mass he said looks to be like it is fluid, and asked me if she has peed because it may have something to do with her bladder. She normally pees on car rides and yesterday she didn't. I'm going to demand that we be seen today so I'll let you all know. Her poop has been coming out still smaller and size, but a little watery and stuck to her booty.

I've been massaging her and have given her some simethicone. She looks like she has perked up a bit. Went to go grab some pizza last night to cheer me up and my mom said she took a few bites of hay. I know my girl is trying to get better, but that damn thing is HUGE. Keep her in your thoughts...

Thanks to Brandi, Jade, Rachel, and Speedy...the support means more to me than you'll ever know. I'm hysterical...

upset..

 Here is one of Maddy's xrays. It's pretty obvious that huge mass isnt supposed to be there. our vet said it looks as if it is fluid. since he has never seen anything like it, we have been referred to a specialist but they are closed at the moment. ugh. ill give them another call in the morning. i wish i had better news for you all..she took a few bites of hay and quietly layed down. she looks so miserable i feel like a horrible mother...i cried the whole way home. please please please please keep her in your thoyghts..im so scared and upset. ill try and update as information becomes available. for now i will continue with critical care feedings and trying to keep her as comfortable as possible...i want that thing gone!!!

♥megan

my poor girl

Maddy is suffering again again from tummy troubles. All the things i did the last time are not working. i stayed up with her all night syringing her critical care and she pooped out these tiny hard pebbles. she looks so sad and uncomfortable it breaks my heart. i couldnt wait to get off work today, unfortunately nothing has changed..we have a vet appointment in less than an hour. wish our girl luck..she has lost a considerable amount of weight since i can actually feel and see her spine. all the fur was masking it until now. i am in hysterics, but will remain calm...for now. please anyone and everyone, join me in sending maddy some healing vibes and sending a prayer out to whom ever you pray to. thank you...will try to update as soon as anything comes up.

We didn't forget about you!!!

To make up for it, here are some pictures!